- How did you know that you had an eating disorder and when did you know you needed help?
I would wake up every morning hoping that this day would be the day that I would have no more problems. By midday, or 3:00 or 4:00, I would consume everything in the house, and I'd have this huge massive binge, and by the end of the night I would be consumed with all the negative feelings: guilt, hopelessness, how could this happen? It was a cycle that would happen every single day. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know what.
Finally when I was about 18 or 19 years old, I looked online for a solution, because I was living with a boyfriend, and I was doing this in secret, no one knew about this. It became my whole entire life, and it was a big secret. So I looked online and there was a meeting, I came across Over Eaters Anonymous, and the meeting was like in the next hour and literally half a block from where I was living. It was amazing! That was the first step for me, for admitting that I had this. I walked over to the meeting, I was late, and at this point I was just desperate for a solution. A lot of people go into OA not liking it, judging it, but I didn't care I was so desperate. So at 18, 19, was the point I got help.
- How old are you now, and how long have you been abstinent?
- When you were younger was there any awareness of the disease you had? Or had you never heard of them and just though you were alone in doing them?
- The biggest thing for you was bulimia, but did you ever have a problem with compulsive over eating?
- Did you ever have a rock bottom?
- Was there a specific step out of the twelve steps that particularly resonated with you?
- Who's your higher power and what would you say to people who are turned off from the twelve steps because the belief that God is involved?
- So you believe that God is your higher power.
- How important is sponsorship in the program?
- How did you find your sponsor?
- Do you think 12 step programs are lifestyles or do you think there is a point where you're done and can move on?