Interview - K. Miller

Healing through the community support of group meetings, the twelve-steps, therapy and treatment centers.

K. Miller:

• How did you know you had an eating disorder?

When I was younger I was anorexic but as I got older, it turned into drug use, bulimia and over- eating.  I am 33 years old now and have been in recovery for about 5 years. My bottom line abstinence is that I don’t throw up no matter what and I’m accountable for my food. I haven’t thrown up in over 4 years and I call my sponsor when I’m struggling.

• Do you know how it all began?

There was some childhood abuse and a moment in high school that a boy made a comment about the way I looked.  I started dieting. Growing up in southern California and the media played a big factor in the pressure to be thin.

• Did you have a rock bottom?

I had a few of those. With the bulimia, I was throwing up a few times a day. I was ready to kill myself it was so bad. I knew if I didn’t get well from the bulimia, I was going to go back to using drugs.

• Was your family supportive when you needed help?

They knew a little bit about the abuse, but not the full extent. The first time I went to my parents about my eating disorder, they threatened to put me in treatment.  They did the best they could and put me in therapy. I have an older sister and younger brother, and they helped support me through my struggle as well.

• When did you discover support groups?

When I was 28, I was in rehab for my drug addiction.  I went to a twelve-step program for that and eventually found out there were meetings using the steps for eating disorders too.  The meetings are different but the same.  It worked for me and got the support I needed for my struggles.

• What would you say to someone who is scared to go to a support group?

Try 6 meetings before you decide to not go anymore. Don’t quit before the miracle happens. You’re gonna here something you never heard before and it will click.

• Do you think a sponsor is necessary?

Absolutely.  A sponsor is what I needed to talk things through. My sponsor was encouraging and helped me work the steps.  It was freeing.

• In terms of the twelve-steps, whom do you look towards as your higher power?

I wrote what I wanted in a best friend and that is who my higher power is.